We are back with a new episode a cautionary tale about “insta therapy” picking your mental health professionals from a social media profile (me included).
And Why it’s important to vet your mental heath professionals. Staying safe during the quarantine and making your mental health AND physical health a priority during the national pandemic.
Finding happy seven steps to relationships that will not steal your joy is the new book by me. Nikita Banks, a licensed psychotherapist and life strategist leverage the knowledge you’ll receive in this book to help you with the process of obtaining absolute clarity. Through the use of Guided Self exploration. This process is necessary to help you master all your relationships in 2019 and beyond going amazon.com or black therapists podcast calm and grab your copy of the book guaranteed to help you redesign all your relationships based on two basic principle, health and happiness. Get your copy today. Welcome to the black therapist podcast, the black therapist podcasts podcast where we discuss unique issues people of color face when dealing with mental health issues and mental health diagnosis. Now if you are new to our show, I am your host, author, life strategist. psycho therapist Nikita Banks in private practice in my hometown of Brooklyn, New York. I am available for both psychotherapy and coaching sessions. And you can find more information about that on my website Nikita Banks calm you can listen to our podcasts everywhere podcasts are found
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doing well and maintaining.
I’m trying to find some sense of normalcy. Holding on to your sanity in this new normal. You know, I feel like there are several types of people who are dealing with this whole ordeal. There are the people who are
actually quarantining and taking this really seriously. There are the people who may have
mental health issues like OCD OCD is a real thing. Which if you don’t know, obsessive compulsive disorder,
so for them, you know, washing their hands, and thinking that there are germs on it or invisible things that they can’t see is a really, really, really real thing. And so, if you’re dealing with anxiety, if you’re dealing with depression, this new normal will kick up. So if you have not heard the show before, I am a mental health professional and my offices in Brooklyn, New York, and my Brooklyn night good start, do a die to let die. And so,
to find out that we’re now in the epicenter of where this
outbreak is in the US is very scary.
It’s also sobering. It’s also
You know, making me think differently about how I interact with others. And so yeah, it’s it’s, it’s a lot, it’s a lot mentally. It’s a lot. You know, my disappointment in my community because I’m going to speak about my community is the fact that a lot of black people don’t seem to be taking this seriously. Yes, I call it you know, the Rona or Bellona? You know, and obviously I’m talking about the corona virus and not Corona, Queens. Shout out to Corona, Corona, Queens,
which is a it’s a
town here in Queens, New York. But I’m really taking this seriously right. I have a I have a son who has really bad asthma. He’s had pneumonia several times in his life. At one point he had pneumonia, double pneumonia. He had an in both lungs and so I can’t imagine him getting a respiratory illness and so I’m really taking this seriously. And fortunately I don’t really feel like a lot of people are taking this seriously. Like I get it. We live in Atlanta the free and home of the brave, right? But
there’s a thing about being respectful to your fellow man, there’s a thing about being community engaged. There’s there’s a social responsibility that we all have to each other that we just kind of have to be careful. And I feel like our people are not taking it as serious as we can. I have friends who I know who have absolutely no reason to be outside. When I say absolutely no reason to be outside, I don’t mean that they don’t have to go to the grocery store or that they don’t have to go to doctors offices or they’re not there’s not family members that they have to check on. Right. I’m not talking about that type of stuff. But I’m talking about like, indeed, they don’t have jobs. Now that you physically have to go to thank God I no longer have a job that I physically have to go to But I also made the financial decision that even if I went I did have a job that I had to go to, I just was not going to do it. So I work in my private practice, that’s fine. As far as I’m concerned, you know, if I’m not needed by my clients for the next two weeks, I would just not have clients for the next two weeks financially. Would I take a hit? Sure. Mentally, can I take the break? Absolutely. Will my bills get paid? Yes. So like I you know, I won’t be up but I will be okay for the next two weeks if I decided not to, not to work with my clients. But I also have a consulting job that I do with mentally ill clients. And that job consisted of me going into the hospitals to see clients. And that job also consisted of me going into these client’s homes to see them. The majority of the seriously mentally ill case clients that I see they live with elderly parents. I said this on Last week’s episode, and in one of my hospitals in particular, our the psychiatric unit and the maternity ward is on the same floor. So can you imagine me having this virus and going into see a client and I’m, you know, unknowingly infect a mother or father going to see the maternity like, No, no, no, no. Well, or somebody infecting me and then me bringing something home to my son is the risk for me is just not worth
it. Do I think that we’ll all survive this possibly.
Possibly right? But I don’t think that we’re understanding the the fact that for the city of New York was city of like millions 8,000,007 million people. Um, you know, how many million people’s live here, right? Number one, we live on top of one another. Number two, not a lot of us have, you know, separate living quarters, you may have your own rooms, but we share bathrooms, we share kitchen spaces, those kinds of things like there’s not you know, we are pedestrian city but we’re a pedestrian city of people who live really in close quarters if we’re not taking this seriously and staying off the street, millions, City of millions, and we have 3000 ICU beds, you know, I don’t I don’t I don’t think we get it. And I’ve been to these hospitals. I know that a lot of the the medical staff and the medical personnel that we have, they are older, they are foreign. They are, you know, a shout out to the immigrants that work really hard to be here. They take good care of us. And so there are so many things that I think a lot of us are just taken for granted and going outside and just living our lives in this part that type of time. Like I don’t know about y’all, but um, me personally, I’m just not That type of thought mine got it. I’m never gonna get it. It is what it is like I can’t imagine bringing something home and you know, if you’re listening to me, I really hope that you guys are taking this seriously. I hope that you guys are doing what you need to do to protect your mental health. I hope that you guys, you know, hopefully y’all in the club quarantine like me, shout out to D nice who is my local DJ I’m going I go to the originals parties here usually as monthly in New York City where Him and
who else is the is the other DJs there. Okay, so it’s
D nice Tony touch. Clark Kent.
bobbito I feel like it’s five and I’m gonna feel like I’m missing somebody. I could see him.
I’m gonna look it up. Cuz I don’t want to miss this out but there’s a party here in New York. If day is called the originals, and we usually go once a month it’s usually sold out if you don’t buy your tickets in advance, you’re not gonna get it. And so denyce broke the internet the other day, Mitch Medina,
that is, had to
look at his face. Although I saw him in my mind but had to look at his face remember his name. So it’s D nice bobbito Clark Kent, Tony touch in Richmond, Tina. And so they all deejay these parties once a month, and they do this really big thing in Central Park that if you’ve been following me for a while, you’ve seen but yeah, he’s been doing this five day dance party, Michelle Obama was there or was on the live Oprah gal. Who else Elizabeth Warren. I heard Joe Biden was one is ridiculous. Stevie Wonder yada yada like anybody and everybody Quincy Jones was there like it was really really though. And so like, you know this What my friends have been doing, I really feel like this is a good time for God to just really slow us down as a country. I really feel like this was the way that we are supposed to check in with one another and check in on ourselves and love one another. So that we can really do what we need to do this is really slowed me down. I’ve slept more than usual without guilt, to be honest with you.
a little bit more relaxed, more in tune with with my body. I’ve been very intentional about what i what i do what i watch
what I eat,
because, you know, going out to go shopping, I’ve actually wrote lists. See, I’ve actually been able to do the things that I needed to do so it’s it’s been really good for me. But I know that for a lot of you guys out there hasn’t been good free for you guys, I do miss going to therapy. I think I’m gonna check in with my therapist this week.
If you guys are therapists,
I’m gonna check in. You check in with your therapist, if you guys have therapists check in with the therapists, because some of us are not okay, some of us don’t have the financial resources to really weather this storm. And although, you know, some of us are going to tell them mental health throughout my consulting job. After five days of debating with the insurance companies decided that we would no longer go into hospitals. Hospitals weren’t letting us in. And we would no longer go into people’s homes. Duh. We shouldn’t have been there anyway, because we’re a risk
to their households, right?
And elderly parents that we would go to a tele mental health space. So finally, we figured this out on Monday on how we’re going to really start to go back to work but again, you know,
our was just like it is what it is.
It is it is. It is what it is. I know that I have the luxury to say that but I know that some people listening probably don’t have that luxury shout out to the class of 2020 Shout out to Nani each Taylor I always mess it up. Nani Nani girl. My sis Dude, I put it like that. Shout out to her because he’s one of the seniors graduating this year. Oh, this really sucks like you know my son has a job waiting for him that we don’t know what’s gonna happen now in a month when he was supposed to start. Like it’s a lot of things that are going on and I know for for a lot of people, your mental health is really difficult to maintain during these times.
That said, Well that was a long it should after that
goes on introduction. I feel like it was a purging.
So I am in several mental health groups and in one of These groups there is a young lady
who I heard tag is Dr. Kelsey.
There’s a lot of judgments about her there was this whole thing on social media and one of my groups about her,
I’m not really gonna get into it. I don’t know what the what the threat Okay, the thread on
Twitter if you
you want to dig through it
was by somebody named Taylor in chief, the prototype. And
I think the hashtag is hashtag Dr. Kelsey, Leann, um, but basically what the discussion was in some of the groups that I was
around was about this young lady who was 22 years old, and I’m just gonna read the first tweet that I see her threads were interesting, so I follow the vent off then I read allies Dr. Klaus Elian is likely frauding you all. And so basically,
it was about this girl who
calls herself a doctor, she sells treatment plans. She has a book, she has a large following on YouTube, I guess she had a large following on Instagram. I guess I’m not really sure what characterizes a large following. She’s in one of the groups that I’m in. I remember her just basically saying that her book came came out. And it was a success in a in a week or something like that. I don’t know. Honestly, I don’t really pay anybody else, that much of a mind
in these groups because
a lot of the clinicians that I know in these groups, they they’re making all of this exorbitant amount of money. I don’t
There’s a lot of money to be made in mental health. There really truly is. But I don’t know When I look at some of the people who say they’re making the money that they claim they’re making, if I look at their business models, I don’t know what the business model makes it makes sense.
If you get what I’m saying,
and I hope there’s not like a lot of background noise because I’m doing laundry, guys got to get this laundry done. quarantine but we got to be clean. Okay, so.
So anyway, I was
in several of my groups and I just kept seeing her name come up and people were calling her a
fraud and people were
saying she, people were making jokes about her. They made meems Oh, well, apparently one
posted that the girl was a fraud in several different groups. He
Okay, so I’m just gonna read one of the posts that I found online
for the past year. I fell.
I mean, she misspelled it but fell in love with this psychologist Dr. Kelsey Leanna. Her biggest focus is childhood trauma that is not limited to just that anxiety on healthy boundaries and relationships and healing for the past are a few topics she touches base on, but y’all she has a workbook that’s similar to cognitive behavioral therapy, and it’s only a frickin dollar. So, um, you know, I do see that she’s, she’s built a following. I think that that’s, that’s cool. I don’t think it is cool if she’s building a following on a lie and basically, Oh, is this the same girl? So basically, the girl went and the girl who believes that this woman is a fraud, went around and posted in other groups. Number one, I don’t know why she felt the need to do all of that unless she’s just really passionate about mental Professionals being professional about
It feels kind of messy.
And so that, you know, a lot of women in some of the groups that I was in came to her defense because they felt like, Hey, this is messy, and it doesn’t need to be messy. Because we as black women, we need to support one another. But you gotta have your credentials, like I got street credit and credentials, and you can’t
it. My relationship that I have with my therapist and the relationship that clients have with me is a very intimate space.
And I don’t
practice things that I don’t know about. I don’t practice stuff that I wasn’t trained for. I don’t I don’t profess to know something that I don’t know if I don’t know. I don’t know. Right. And I and even though I have my license, I have my credentials. I have my education. I I’m not perfect. I come to this work with with what I have my traumas, my black skin, my my womanhood My goodness, I come to this work bringing bring it to it everything that I am in. So for a lot of clients or some clients, you know, I’m not the perfect clinician for them.
And I get that
and I allow my clients have the space to choose the perfect clinician that can create a system. But I think this is a dual thing. It’s so strange, like she’s a Christian counselor, and she was getting her bachelor’s degree at the same time she was getting her doctorate but she never got a bachelor’s degree and her father
was just your Google it.
My point even bringing this up is that all everybody that professes themselves to be something online or not what they say they are, and it’s up to you to do your due diligence to make sure you know Who you are giving your money to who you are giving your time to who you are listening to, because it is it’s very easy to be swindled and sucked into somebody who wants to just tell you whatever you want to hear, especially when you are trying to heal from trauma, especially when you are going through something, you definitely need to make sure that the person you are listening to has the credentials and can actually do what they say they can do. Now, I won’t doubt that this young woman probably had good intentions, right? But I also don’t know why y’all didn’t figure out that she probably wasn’t a doctor at 22 when she says that she’s working on her bachelor’s degree in her doctorate degree at the same her doctorate or PhD or whatever it is. At the same time. I don’t know why people were listening to her mean, you know, I’ve been on her. I’ve actually been on her website before this just because she had come up in several groups. But y’all gotta do better. y’all gotta do better
betting, the people that you work with. I’m disgusted and disappointed that they were clients that actually worked with this woman. And if you listen to her videos or watch her YouTube maybe I’m just from New York, like New York is kick on a smell of scam. I don’t know. But like it wasn’t making any sense. If you meet a doctor or a therapist, you could just go on the state board and Google them. Anybody that says that they are licensed certifications are not licensed. I have certifications out the behind those. That’s not my license. My license is a state governing board and body who allows me to meet the minimum standards of requirement To be licensed, there are plenty of practitioners who are not even licensed. And they could run circles and rings around me, I see that. And that’s just because they’ve been in the field for a very long time, but they didn’t take the test for whatever reason. But what I’m telling you is that
and and the thousands of others, people who have paid their money, who have taken their time who have invested in their future who have invested years and hours of sacrifice to become a licensed mental health professional, you can’t skip no steps. And it’s not in the best interest of our clients that you skipped steps. If you listen to that hardly edit show, edited show from weeks ago when I discussed my issues with interns. Shout out to my interns who are also struggling throughout this time because now I’m being asked to find them offline assignments and baby I don’t Ah, I don’t know how we don’t really get mandates to do teletherapy. But we don’t. So we go see if it works.
If it works,
we’ll see. But um, go on the state board and look and see if your therapist is licensed in the states that they say that they and I told you I’m licensed in New York, New Jersey, Georgia and pending in Florida, I’ve been pending in Florida forever, but that’s on me that’s not on them. But as a matter of fact, our whole Florida tomorrow to see what’s going on with that, but on on the three websites that I am licensed, or you can go and put my first name, my last name and my credentials will pop up. And that’s where any other therapist that you’re going to chow i didn’t i didn’t go through this whole thread but I’m looking at it now. And obviously, it’s a mess and I’m seeing some people don’t hear that I know she Yeah.
Anyhow, um, if you are a student and you want to be a mental health professional, you know that your passion will lead you to an lcsw w or an LPC or you know, and those L stands for licensed or to go into private practice or LMS w or wherever your credentials will be, once you get those credentials, right, and not a doctor with that you bought channels to people who bought their doctorates, and when I say bought your doctorate, I mean like a honorary doctorate. And that’s a whole nother matter because there’s there are those people who running around saying the doctors and they bought that but I just let them go on because they did not treat anybody that I care about. Are they not cheating? Anybody that I know they’re just using the credentials like, you know, Dr. Sean Combs right?
But shout out to puffy.
That wasn’t, that wasn’t a shame, but I’m just saying like he hasn’t. He has an honorary doctorate degree, and he doesn’t even have a bachelor’s degree. Although, you know, he’s winning at life. If you are a student and you are on that path, and you Know that eventually you will get your license. I’m not telling you and the students that I work with, I do often tell them that you should prepare for the career that you want. But that’s Be honest. Tell people that you are a student, tell people that you this is what you’re working on. You build your online following and your podcast as a student, build your, your online following and your podcast as somebody who’s a mental health advocate, build your online following as you know, somebody who could speak from a mental health experience from whatever your experience is, you don’t have to wait until you get your PhD or your CD or your LMS w or lcsw w or MSW or BSW in order to build your your your audience. why people love to see your journey you can document your journey while you’re going through But don’t lie,
like how she solid treatment plans when she’s not even licensed to treat anybody.
And commissions, how much you’re
buying this girl treatment plan.
I mean, quietus cap anybody that comes to me and said they do whatever they say they do, especially when it’s in the mental health field. I’m doing the googling. I’m hitting up this date, Bo website, I want to see. And if you don’t pop up You and I have another conversation
because I do take this seriously. So the whole incident online with Kelsey,
Leanne, or whatever her name is,
it may be think about recently I was I was actually asked to contribute to an article for instant therapy. And I think that
first of all, I didn’t really know what they were talking about. And then I had to think about it. Am I do I have to consider myself a
therapist? I mean, yeah, so basically what instant therapy is, is therapists Using and utilizing social media
to raise awareness for mental health disorders, right?
So of course, I have a pretty large following on ID I do this podcast where we have a lot of listeners.
I don’t consider myself for instance therapists but I guess
I can see why this term is kind of catching on.
And and really for me, it’s, it’s this
is like tongue twister instances like this right where there is an online therapists, I’m using air quotes, but you can see it or someone who is a mental health advocate and they are advocating for particular types of treatments and therapies and stuff that just worked for them, right. And so a lot of times that we pick these mental health advocates or we pick these
Shall I say no mental health advocates?
professional, right experts, love experts, relationship experts, etc, right? We picked these people just based off a personality and marketing.
But a lot of times we were not asking ourselves this
person actually do the work, right? There are plenty of therapists who are coaches. Some of
them do like business coaching, some of them are doing social media coaching, right to show you how to build your following, etc. And when you go and you look on their pages, they don’t have the following that they say that they have they don’t have
to justify that they are actually a professional in the way that they are that they say that they are and so, you We live in a world where people are building their reputation on what they say, right? And people are just kind of going by faith. There is my favorite quote about faith. Which is faith is the act of acting as if so even even when it is not so so it will be so right. But when I look at a lot of the insert therapists or online therapists who are really doing this work, a lot of people front end a
lot of people’s lying about their lifestyle, what they do what
how they live in what they earn in,
and not really, you know,
walking the walk, right? And there’s a part of us that
are just human and and we will,
we will struggle and we will fail and we will
have new adversities and things come into our lives that we challenges that we’ve
never had to deal with. I’ve never dealt with a pandemic before, right.
Going a little stir crazy. I’ve never had this be in my house this much before.
And voluntarily, like it’s kind of voluntarily but it’s not voluntarily but like, you know. So like, this is not something that I’ve ever dealt with before. There’s there specific illnesses that I’ve never had I’ve never really been been sick thing God and knock on wood, I’ve never really had to deal with certain issues in my life. And so, for me as they may arise, they may present
specific challenges to me that
I haven’t had in the past. And so that while therapists are people too, we have to start thinking about
what we’re buying into based on social media,
or mostly social media or social media platform, a social media following or just because other people are following. Just because somebody else is doing it doesn’t make it the right thing. thing to do, and we really need to start Think about it. I hate
the term instant therapy.
reading an article about what they what they called Instant therapy.
I don’t agree with this article I’m reading an article on psychology today and I’m just gonna read the top five things about Institute problems six problems with instant therapy. The first thing it says Instagram therapy requires spending more time on Instagram. Absolutely not.
You follow whoever you want to follow?
You agree with what you agree with you take away what you could take away from the message and then you go away. Basically what instant Instagram therapy is, and I hate that term. First of all. Instagram can be therapeutic but it is not therapy. There’s no substitute for therapy but therapy right so for me be sitting on Instagram, I may see something That makes me laugh. It may make me smile. It may. It may bring awareness to an issue that I didn’t know about about me educate me. It may allow me to see myself in someone else’s story. It may bring me closer together and build community but it is not therapy. It is therapeutic. It is not therapy. I’ve said this before. You know, when I talked about ion ion, this show is therapeutic. It is not therapy. Everything is not it’s not the same thing. Religion can be therapeutic drinking a glass of wine, some Nikita Banks can be therapeutic. It is definitely not therapy. Therapy is therapy. That’s when I meet with my my therapist, and we have a conversation and he does his job. That’s what that is. So I disagree with that. number one. Number two, Instagram therapy is nonspecific, from what I saw Instagram therapy posts are fairly broad, even when applied to a specific conceptualization of an issue.
Yeah, It is like I don’t I don’t find that that’s a fair criticism. I think it’s
it’s an accurate portrayal of what you see one on
one Instagram, but I don’t. Instagram therapy is nonspecific that Instagram therapy is not. I’m sorry, I’m not gonna call it Instagram therapy again, I’m sorry, I’m not gonna even use that term again. But I’ll just call it it for right now. Because I can’t think of anything else to call it because that’s the term in this article.
the DSM five is nonspecific.
By symptoms of covert is nonspecific, it may be a cough, it may be it may be a dry cough, it may be a fever, you may not have a fever, you may be symptomatic, so it’s not any no therapeutic issue is one size fit all It may fit a specific criteria, but when you peel back the layers of the client’s life experience, they’re gonna all be different. So yes, informational infographics, educational, psycho educational information is all specific. I mean, I’m sorry, it is all nonspecific. It is all educational, and it’s all painted with a broad stroke, so that you can see yourself within it.
But that that’s anything
and if I don’t want any specific information on
Instagram, because that excludes the one that excludes people, number two, it doesn’t educate the the
who’s listening and listening in number three, it may eliminate people that actually should be included in the conversation and it’s literally There just to educate it is not therapy there is no diagnosing that happens on Instagram and if there is that if you getting your diagnosis from Instagram then you we get we got another conversation to talk about
seem overly idea let me I don’t like the word choice ideological and lean towards superficiality.
I don’t know if that’s a critique but yeah, people want to see things on Instagram that either makes them feel really good or it gets a reaction out of them. So that has nothing to do with anything but marketing a product.
I don’t know. They have this picture of this person’s Instagram.
The caption that they use internalized capitalism feels like never allowing yourself space for pleasure. The fat sex therapists shout out to the fat sex therapist. I have no idea who you are. This isn’t, this is a, quote, an ideological perspective that might be helpful to many but not attuned to the individual reading it. I’m reading it and I don’t understand it. internalized capitalism feels like never allowing yourself the self safe space. for pleasure. I’m gonna read the caption because I don’t know what to talk about. For folks based in the US and anywhere that’s influenced by Christian colonialism. You’ll recognize the messages we hear about pleasure and purity. We hear identical messages around abstaining from sexual pleasure and food places. as measured ways to attain spiritual and moral purity Okay, I agree with that. This is not a coincidence when capitalism is mixed with Christian colonial understandings of morality because capitalism ranks and devalues bodies. Okay, she lost me based on their ability to conform to an all best standard parlay worthiness to the bodies that can produce profit under capitalism.
Yeah, I’m not using enough of my sad words you’re my post I guess these words is too big for me. I’m a little girl from
although I got certificates from big schools on the wall, um
Christianity when used for the purpose of colonialism
also reeks and devalues bodies based on their purity and Okay, so there was more than this, but I’m not gonna read it.
I guess she’s speaking to her audience.
I don’t think that I’m our audience but she, she had almost
you know, 54,000 likes on it. So clearly, whoever she was talking to
like to he was saying and I think that’s the point of posting on Instagram.
I think she she started a conversation from her own perspective.
I don’t feel like it’s ideological, but of course, she’s speaking from her perspective of whatever the topic is that she’s talking about internalized capitalism sounds like fat shaming, it sounds like
pleasure and morality and purity. I’m not how audience sound I mean, She’s not talking to me but I don’t have a problem with just scrolling about it and not judging it. As to just who goes into the same
Instagram therapy posts are one way. I said it again.
Oh brother. So basically the complaint is that the person posted and then people don’t reply this comment has over 40,000 likes in an open can have comments. And clearly you can’t can’t You can’t reply to everyone in the comments. It’s not for you to reply to,
like therapists do psycho education right Google it. Look it up.
Psycho education is literally just to educate you about psychological topics give you information about things that you should be aware of. Instagram therapy is only psycho education. It is a marketing tool to market your business but it is a psycho educational
was I was up to five
i t pose might lead to complications and mismanagement of serious illnesses. Listen, I hope nobody is listening to everything that I say is gospel. I pray to God that neither one none of nobody listening here believes that everything that I say is is directed at any one of you. If you see yourself in some of the things that I say great, I use this show as a tool, only to educate.
If y’all noticed, I talk more about me and my own problems than anybody else’s.
Just so you know that I have a therapist who has a therapist too, right. So I you know, My goal in being a therapist on the podcast on Instagram on social media is just to deconstruct therapy for people who thought that they would never have access would never have access to a therapist who actually understands their particular issues. I think a lot of times what ends up happening is that we as therapists, we become so removed from the issues and we want to buy into this idea that we are an authority on everything just because we went to school. That’s not what this is. I’m really, really good at what I do as a therapist. And what I do as a therapist is very different than what I do on online.
Because I don’t know
each of you and I don’t know each of your issues. When you reach out to me, you DM me, my goal is not to provide you therapy. My goal is to provide you comfort and comfort and support. My
goal is always to get you to
find a therapist that you like
To get you to try therapy to get you to be open to the therapeutic process of giving a therapist a chance, even if you’ve gone to therapy before, even if you had a therapist that you felt like didn’t understand you, even if you hated therapy in the past, because I’ve been there and done all of that, but but me getting and having a life that I loved me overcoming the issues that I had me being able to attain the skills that I needed that I wasn’t able to get from my mother and my father, not because they didn’t love me, but just because they only gave me what they had was worth me going to continue to try therapy even when I felt like it failed me in the past.
And so this whole situation with homegirl online and portraying herself as a therapist in a professional
and she wasn’t I want you guys to be diligent about who you who you seek advice from seek wise counsel, the Bible says.
I mean, I often quote the Bible but It’s
a thing, you know what I’m saying. So you have to make sure that who you are allowing, and I’ve said this before, but I’m gonna say it again, who you are allowing in your intimate spaces are worthy of that.
If these times of being quarantined tells you nothing, but be careful who you allow to have access.
And if they’re not going to keep you healthy, and if they are not going to keep you safe, and they are not going to value you and they’re not going to treat you with love and respect than you, you do not have to disclose anything that you do not want to with them, whether it’s online, whether it’s in person, I didn’t go to my first therapy appointment to tell my therapist all my business, I need to know that he was worthy of that information. First, I needed to know if there was trust that could be built
there. First, I needed to know
if he was actually the kind of person that could could help me solve my problem and if he would be able to provide me the proper
support, I am speaking really fast. Sorry about that.
I wanted to make sure that he was going to be able to really be able to order the information that I was giving him.
Okay. And, yeah.
So I get that, you know, we did it when people were like, no, we’re not going to drag her because he’s another doctor. I mean, she’s another black woman, yada, yada. But sometimes, sometimes, when you’re going out there and your show you’re behind, you just make it look bad for all of us. And what we cannot as black people have if people are here to threaten our people, especially when it comes to mental health, because we know the stigma, we know the drama, we know the trauma. We know the issues that we face. We know the barriers to treatment that our clients have that our community has that our family has to health right. I started this conversation by saying mentally, this whole coronavirus is going to impact our people. If it’s not financially if it’s not, if it’s not just mentally if it’s not just the the sheer loneliness of being home if it’s not going to highlight all of your insecurities, food, housing, financial, emotional, if it’s not going to bring up a trigger all your stuff and you don’t have the wherewithal to know that investing in your mental health is now the time that you need to do this, then this is an issue. I want you guys to be aware that there are plenty of love experts or relationship experts or mental health experts or whatever is down that are not what they say that they are. And don’t ever allow that to deter you from getting what you need to get. There are a lot of people that will look at this thread and that will look at this conversation and be like See I told you mental health Is this or those people that they don’t really want to help us only thinking about is their money and making? Yep. Okay, we all got light bills but that don’t have nothing to do with anything. For me. I’ve invested 18 years of my life in my education 18 years to get my degree to get to where I am. I do deserve to live a good life. I do deserve to be able to feed my family but I also know that I usually don’t get paid what I deserve. I also know because I’m a black woman. And because this is a woman dominated field and because it’s mental health and because we live in a reactive not a proactive company, country had coronavirus that I’ve never really going to get what I truly deserve to get into this unless I find another way and it’s podcasting pay me a dime so far. It’s nice to be recognized but coins would be nice to
shoot me a cash app How about that?
But you know, I
I think that we all have to start really being mindful about who we allow in all into all of our intimate spaces. I feel like if Cova does teach him anything, that’s one of the lessons that I’ve learned in this quarantine is that I have to be very diligent about who I allow into my intimate spaces, whether it’s my home, whether it’s my breathing space, whether it’s my personal space, whether it’s my mental health, whether it’s what comes on my TV, every single thing that I do, but I’m eating, it’s very intentional. Because I know I’m going outside one time for the week. And I got to make it last I got to hit this, this, this and this, and I gotta go pick up this, this, this and this, like this is the really the time for us to really be making intentional decisions about our life and what it’s going to look like in the next three, three months or two months or months or a year now. Like this is really where we can start intentional life planning. And so
I’m having this conversation
with you because There is anybody
who saw this thread but you messy boots who won’t go look at the thread on Twitter going on Twitter y’all
just know that there are a plethora of qualified mental
health professionals who are working through this current time and do this current challenge to help make sure that all of us are good.
Okay. So I
actually am starting a new job it’s not a job job but I’m starting a new referral within my service within my proact my I’m sorry, y’all, I’m starting a new referral service within my private practice tomorrow so I got to take my behind the bed but um, you know, I really want to make more time to to be present and to speak to you guys and to see what’s going on and to see how you guys are maintaining because you Yeah, I know that within the VR, right? But But There’s a lesson in this and there’s a blessing in this and we have to figure out what what it is. Okay? So I will see you online, because the damn show he goes to you,
by coming see you
outside. But, you know, I hope everybody is staying safe. Everybody is practicing social distancing. Everybody is checking in on your family. Everybody is checking in with your loved ones and you are making complete sure that you are thinking about how you affect others in what you do. It’s not just you going out to go to the store, it really is. You know, who will I come in contact while I’m out here. If I’m sick, if I have the flu, if I have whatever you you think you have and there are a lot of people walking around who have Corona virus and they don’t even know what they have. So, I mean, I really truly want you guys to stay safe and I want you to keep your families and your friends safe. And I definitely want
You guys should really be taking care of yourselves
okay. I know we will get through this but practice some self care this week I have I didn’t get no work done this weekend to be honest with you. I saw a few clients and that was really it by obviously remotely via tele mental health.
You can think of the word but
but yeah, I really you really truly
will be okay.
Okay. This is another episode of black therapists podcast. I feel like I was all over the place. I hope that you guys are happy that I’m back. I’m happy that I’m back. Next week I definitely want to talk about self made so if you want to go on Netflix and Netflix and chill with me to watch self made about madam CJ Walker. At some of you guys know I was licensed hairstylist ever since I was in high school, to get a place in my math and my science. Because you math and science, and so
I definitely want to watch it. And we will talk about entrepreneurship next week hopefully.
Okay. All right.
Oh and awesome other stuff that we have some shows coming up. I want to come back to you now now that I have time to actually do this. I want to make it a priority so that you guys have something to listen to so that everybody’s not going crazy through this this time. Hit me up on Instagram. Hit me up on email at Black therapist podcast on IGN black therapist, podcast,
calm and black therapist
[email protected] I answer all of my emails. I respond to you on social media. I am back on social at kind of taking a break for a while. I needed to get my energy up, but I am back. Okay.
See you next week. Bye.
Thank you guys for listening to another episode of black therapist podcast. Once again. You could follow us on all our social media sites at Black therapists podcasts on Instagram and on Twitter as well as lack in therapy on Facebook or you can follow your hosts me Miss m s ni k i think on Instagram and Twitter as well as you can find out any information about me at Makita in ik ita banks.com and on the show’s website laughs therapists podcast calm and don’t forget if you want to send us any general feedback, show suggestions, show topic for guest ideas please feel free to drop us an email at Black therapists [email protected] Thank you be well
Transcribed by https://otter.ai